Parenting can be daunting and stressful at times.
On top of that, ‘lectures’ about perfect parenting on social media daily can be overwhelming.
It’s important to take our time, step back and consider our priorities and our goals as good parents.
This post is all about hierarchy of kids’ needs and key necessities based on a popular theory.
This theory helps parents understand better children development
and the steps that they go through until they find their identity.
If parents ensure these necessities for their kids, then they tick them off their Good Parent Checklist.
In this way they eventually help their kids reach their full potential.
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities”. Every time I watch this video with Stephen Covey , I find it inspiring. We often need small and big reminders of our priorities and how to manage our busy day to day life. This video really puts things into prospective and EVERY parent has to watch it!
Below you will find a low-down on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and the priorities that parents should have, according to Maslow’s pyramid of needs. First, we need to understand the 5 stages of human needs as parents. Then, we will discuss the good parent checklist based on Maslow’s theory.
What is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory & how is it related to Good Parent Checklist?
Abraham Maslow was a psychologist and the popular Hierarchy of Needs theory is a theory of motivation. It includes 5 categories of human needs that affect an individual’s, and specifically, a child’s behavior. The hierarchy of children’s needs is presented in a pyramid format. The more basic needs are presented at the bottom and the higher level needs are presented at the top of the pyramid.
There are 5 levels in Maslow’s pyramid. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are:
#1 physiological needs
At the lowest level of Maslow’s pyramid we find essential things that people need to survive. This includes food, water, shelter, warmth, rest and health. If a child is hungry or thirsty and the body is chemically unbalanced, all of the energies turn toward remedying these deficiencies. In other words, these should be our first and foremost priority for our children. If a child’s basic biological needs is not met, he/she would never be able to trust the environment. Also, this child would be stuck with high neuroticism and anxiety. The other needs remain inactive until these needs are fulfilled first.
#2 safety needs
Safety needs refer to both emotional and physical safety. All children should feel secure and safe. For adults, safety needs can be fulfilled with job security, economic safety and stable income. However, for children routine and boundaries create a safe environment. At the same time, we need to prepare kids to accept changes and develop resilience as they grow. As a society, we all went through a crisis during the pandemic, as Covid-19 was an unpredictable and dangerous condition. The pandemic affected people’s fulfillment of safety as well as physiological needs creating lots of stress and holding them back in life. If safety needs are not satisfied, this leads to feelings of doubt and shame. On the other hand, children that feel safe, they also feel independent or confident. Providing safety to our kids we can tick off one more thing off our good parent checklist!
#3 social needs
Social needs include love, acceptance and belonging. This layer of needs emphasises on the importance of family, friendships and other relationships. In our busy lives, we might forget to tell our children how much we love them. You could read the international bestseller ‘The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively‘ where Dr. Gary Chapman explores how to speak your child’s love language and make them feel loved in a way they understand. If a child fails to have such close relationships, this child will have negative social emotions like guilt, low extraversion and might be afraid of social situations.
#4 self-esteem needs
Respect and appreciation are important for human beings as they contribute to fulfilling a child’s esteem needs. Once children have fulfilled their social needs, then they need respect from others and their own self. Popularity and recognition as well as confidence, competence, independence and freedom can contribute to fulfilling children’s esteem needs. High self-esteem correlates with many positive outcomes. Children with high self-esteem get better grades, are less depressed, feel less stress, and like trying and learning new things. If self-esteem need is not satisfied, a child might feel insecure, inadequate and inferior. Sense of failure, negative attitude and unwillingness to try new things could also be common.
#5 self-actualisation needs
Self-actualisation needs refer to the realisation and fulfillment of a child’s fullest potential. In other words, parents should help their children find their calling and support their interests. This means that self-actualisation can differ from child to child. Learning new skills, pursuing life dreams and seeking happiness could be some of the examples. When this need is fulfilled, it leads to feeling able to produce or create something new!
Growth needs, deficiency needs and motivation
According to Maslow, the first four layers of needs are deficit needs and motivation increases as deficiency needs are met. If these needs are not met, children feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, he identified the last needs as growth needs. Children are constantly motivated by these needs as they relate to their growth and development.
Children can thrive and reach their full potentials, only when all the other needs are fulfilled. Therefore, our job as parents is to fulfill each category of our children’s needs starting from the bottom and continuing to the top of the pyramid. This is the way to support our children become the best version of themselves!
Three additional needs
If this is not quite overwhelming for you and you want to analyse it a bit further, there are three more things to tick off our good parent checklist based on this theory. Later on, Maslow modified the hierarchy and included three more levels at the top including eight levels all together. These levels are cognitive, aesthetic and self-transcendence needs.
Cognitive needs
Human beings have the need to extend their knowledge and increase their intelligence. Maslow believed that it is natural for human beings to have the need to explore, learn and discover in order get a better understanding of the world around them. This is definitely true for young and older children. Our job as parents is to encourage and support this exploration and learning. Unfortunately, if these needs are not fulfilled, children can not define their own sense of self and identity. As a result, they get confused and go through an identity crisis.
Aesthetic needs
Aesthetic need is a higher level need. Humans need beautiful imagery or aesthetically pleasing environment to continue up towards self-actualization. Human beings refresh themselves in the presence and beauty of the environment. Children also need to relate in a beautiful way with the environment and this leads to the special feeling of intimacy with nature and everything beautiful. There are various ways and strategies that parents can support their children’s aesthetic development. Creating an aesthetically pleasant and inviting environment for children is crucial. Read more information here about aesthetic toys and tips on how to support your child’s aesthetic development.
Self-transcendence needs
Maslow also referred to this need as spiritual. When these needs are met, this leads to feelings of integrity. In addition, spiritual experiences bring strong positive emotions like joy, peace, and a well-developed sense of awareness. Spiritual needs are different than other needs, as they are accessible from other levels. Parents can foster spiritual growth in children sharing spiritual experiences together. Some families chose to pray together, other families have device-free dinner or play board games together. Practising yoga is another spiritual activity that children experience at home or in early childhood or primary settings.
Last thoughts
->If you have two or more children, then you need to consider each child’ needs and the ways you will be able to meet them. You might know that you fulfill all your children’s needs in the first two categories, but how about the other levels? Remember… EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT! And every child needs different support to reach their full potential.
-> During this process, we need to remind ourselves to avoid parental projection. Parents can easily project their own fears, dreams, prejudices and expectations onto their kids without even realising. Let’s truly listen to our kids and their needs!
Maslow’s theory explains clearly human motivation based on the pursuit of different levels of needs.
Parents can find this theory useful as it can guide them in prioritising their kids’ basic and growth needs.
While you were reading this post, you reconsidered the basic and the growth needs of your kids.
Now you know your children’s needs that you should prioritise on a regular basis
and tick everything off your good parent checklist!
Last but not least, it is important, as parents of a leader,
to support other parents fulfill their kids’ basic needs such as food, shelter and warmth.
