How to develop leadership skills in your child

Early experiences create the foundation for future leadership development according to Murphy and Johnson. The first reason is that children can be developed easier at a young age. In addition, they develop leadership skills unconsciously.

The 10 most common leadership skills in children

• problem solver

Solving problems creatively is a life-long cognitive skill. Children are often able to think out of the box and solve problems, if we let them to do so. However, parents, teachers and others rush to give children the answer to their question. That was also one of the biggest challenges for me as well. After years of experience and professional development, I realised that moments of learning we need to step back and let the children explore -when it’s safe-. If we see that children are about to give up, we can ask questions in order to give a clue and motivate them to keep exploring and trying to fing the solution. Resilience is also important here, as it helps children to stay calm and not give up easily. A baby trying to reach a toy, a toddler trying to build a tower out of blocks and a craft or math activity for older children are all examples of experiences that may foster problem solving skills.

• flexible 

Flexibility in thought and action is definitely a cognitive skill that is essential for everyone. We know that routine is important for children to thrive and it’s great for them to know what is coming before it happens. However, if they are able to accept changes and deal with unexpected problems effectively, it means that they have the skill of flexibility that is not common in young children. Nevertheless, it is good for parents to challenge the children, let’s say, offering a different plate or playing a toy in a different way. Well, if children have older siblings, they might be often challenged, but only children probably need to be challenged by their parents. Jokes and wordplay as well as strategy and logic games can build flexible thinking. An idea is to develop this skill in younger children through reusing and repurposing items for crafts and other creations. Nevertheless, always try to give a heads up to children before an unexpected change or challenge. Talk about it beforehand and give them the opportunity to be flexible.

• independent

Children can start developing this cognitive skill quite early. The Montessori method, which probably most of you already know, gives a great focus on fostering independence from a young age. The idea of toddlers and young children to be able to access toys, water bottles/cups and other objects on their own is beneficial for them. At the beginning it can be stressful for the parents and you might have to clean up more often, but in long run it is great for everyone. Baby-led weaning (BLW), which is an increasingly popular approach to starting solids, encourages independence in babies. For older children, it is essential to set clear rules, respect their feelings and opinions and give them the opportunity to practise independence in a safe environment. Child’s independence can impact another leadership characteristic, which is self-confidence. The more independent the children are, the more self-confidence they grow.

• organised

Organisational skills are included in cognitive development and learning. I believe that organisational skills are often overlooked, however they are life-long skills, which are crucial for someone to lead and succeed. Sorting out activities and tidying up toys and materials at the right place can encourage the development of these skills. Parents play an important role as role models. In addition, assisting first and later on encouraging the older children to organise their room, their clothes and their school bags can have a great impact on them. This can become a habit and the children can appreciate the benefits of being organised early in their lives.

• responsible

Accepting and carrying out responsibilities is related to cognitive, social and emotional development and learning. For a toddler, it could be following a couple of instructions such as packing up toys in a box or cleaning a table. Primary school children can be responsible, for instance, for preparing a meal, cleaning their room or doing the shopping for a sleep over.  Always keep in mind that children may fail, BUT this is an important part of the learning. You are the ones, who decide the level of responsibility the children will take, so don’t give them responsibilities that you’ll regret. During this process, parents need to involve and support their children in meeting their commitments and completing tasks, so the children will keep their motivation and self-confidence high. Parents need to make suggestions and share clues and important information when needed. However, as children grow, give them more space.

• popular

By popular, we mean that a child is sought out by peers. This is a characteristic that is included in social and cognitive development. Other skills from this list can contribute to your child’s popularity. For example, if children communicate verbally well with peers and they are confident and empathetic, they can be closer to developing relationships with other and becoming popular. In other words, as long as the parents support children’s social skills from a young age, they can support the development of strong relationships between their children and friends in the future.

• good communicator

Language development starts early and it is critical for children’s social development. Your child might be ‘a late talker’, but this doesn’t mean the verbal skills will not be improved soon. Children often have a rapid increase of vocabulary in the early years or what we call ‘word explosion’. Don’t forget that reading aloud to children or even babies, who cannot even talk yet, can be super beneficial for their oral language development. Parents and other important people in children’s environment play a significant role in their verbal skills.  Also, remember to use lots of words and new words in a meaningful context during the day. Last but not least, give children time to talk and express their thoughts, ideas and feelings! Be patient, even if they need time for that. If you are interested in reading more about language development, have a look at one of my favourite parenting websites.

• empathetic

Empathy is a social emotional skill, which is an important element of Emotional Intelligence (EI). Empathy is critical for developing good and strong relationships, improving your career and becoming a responsible citizen. In addition, it is a surprisingly crucial skill for young and older leaders. As a role model, you need to empathise with your child, show empathy to others out in the world and talk about feelings and difficult emotions. Pretend or dramatic play is a great activity to grow empathy in children and it is also popular among young and older children. You can use a dollhouse or a puppet theatre, dress ups, it can take play at the sandpit using sticks or literally everywhere! Last but not least, give the opportunity to your children to help you or others.

• self-confident

Self-confidence is part of a child’s social emotional development and learning. The difference from confidence is that self-confidence is internal. Also, children, who have a lot of self-confidence, don’t always have high self-esteem. In other words, self-confident leaders accept and trust themselves and they feel like they have control over their lives. If you would like your children to believe in themselves and their abilities, then you should make sure you don’t do things for them. They might be able to do these things on their own or not. Let them try! Let them fail! This is the way to improve and gain self-confidence. Drawing or cutting for them, building sandcastles for them, feeding or dressing toddlers will make children believe that they are not capable of doing these things. And guess what… the children often surprise us! Of course, we talk about age-appropriate challenges.

• energetic

I know that many parents look for tips for their children to release their energy and encourage calm and quiet activities. However, good leaders are active and the right balance is important here as in many aspects of our life. This is the only characteristic from the physical learning domain. You can easily identify if your child is energetic and it is a quality that is part of a child’s temperament, according to Bruner, an American psychologist. Nevertheless, parents of not-so-energetic children can help them to keep their levels of energy high. Healthy eating habits, good sleep, limited screen time and participation in activities that children like, can have a great impact on their levels of energy.